Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What Happens?


I am still trying to understand what happens after my chemo. Yesterday I was tired and weak in some kind of delayed effect of the treatment from the week before. I tried to go out to run but became short of breath quickly with trembly muscles. I decided to do a walk through town instead. I often have this effect right after I've gotten out of the hospital. It must be some combination of fatigue and low hemoglobin that zaps me of strength. I did a row this morning since I could tell that I still have that fatigue today too, though it doesn't seem to be as bad as yesterday. I had to take a nap in the afternoon yesterday just to recuperate from all I did in the morning. Somehow it helps, but I feel bad about needing it. I want to just bounce back from the hospital and chemo right away. I know in my head that is unrealistic but it doesn't keep me from wanting it.

I am really looking forward to being able to do long runs again. I can only do 3 mile runs at the most, and they just aren't the same. I am also looking forward to having hair on my head again. I am growing some very thin velus hair despite my chemo, but at this point, there is more scalp than hair. It is alot warmer when you have hair on your head. Drafts are especially bad and send a little chill down my neck since my hair isn't there to insulate me. I look forward to traveling again and not worry about being around people with a cold or illness. My immune system is so weak right now that they won't even let me have the flu shot since it wouldn't help. And I have to avoid all those good fresh fruits and vegetables. I miss salad the most. It's yummy to have an onion pizza from Randy's with a big old greek salad full of feta cheese and onions. Ah, one more treatment in a month and then I'll be on the upward slope getting better and better and better. I'll be truly thankful for Thanksgiving and the holidays when all of my chemo is behind me.

2 comments:

Shannon said...

You're such a superstar. Really, I mean it. You're beating yourself up about having a NAP in the middle of CHEMO which is treating LEUKEMIA. Girlfriend, give yourself a break! You are a s-u-p-e-r-s-t-a-r. (Repeat after me...)
I, personally, love naps. Love em. Would take one every day if I could. I went through a period of feeling like they were a sign of weakness, but I'm over it.
Tree---I am so amazed by your spirit and strength and control. I really admire you. Take ten naps if you need them.
On the Dowler front, the viral crud remains deep within my chest, but Eli stopped barfing. However, today he ran smack-dab into my chair and split his eyebrow wide open. Nice. Luckily, I had some old dermabond and betadine so I cleaned that puppy up and glued it shut...if it re-opens guess we'll go for stitches. This is his third facial laceration THIS YEAR. So much for beauty pageants! : )
Love you, friend. You are a superstar.
Shannon

Moutain Doc said...

Well at least if you glue the boy up at home, you don't have to worry about them thinking child abuse. He's just your usual rambunctious boy.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am giving myself a hard time. I just expect to be doing well and running and dropping no amount of exercise endurance. Unrealistic I guess after so much chemo. But a girl can hope.