My Treat & Delight

I cannot believe that tomorrow is the last day of 2009. I am sure that this does not come as a surprise nor am I likely to be alone in this one. This time last year, I was anxiously awaiting Jan 2nd when I wound finally get to return to work after being out for 7 mos with my leukemia treatment. To say that I was anxious really, really does not do it justice. I was as scared to return to work and treat patients as I had ever been-even when I was just starting out. It is amazing how much this line of work requires concentration and a good memory as well as well, there is no way to say it modestly, intelligence. I felt that 7 mos at home had left me dull and unprepared. Luckily that first week back, my boss let me work part-time to get me back up to speed (call it work hardening)and my patients were those easy walk-in types with colds, flus, and diabetes follow ups. I rememeber how tired I was at the end of the day and would just fall into bed exhausted. I am sure that I was suffering from some lingering effects of the chemo too, but my brain took the longest to bounce back. Some days I am not sure that will ever be the same because my memory is not as sharp as it once was. My other menopausal friends tell me they are the same so maybe we are all in this boat together-chemo or no.
Today is actually my last workday of 2009 so the next time I come back into work, it will be my 1 year anniversary of being back. Unless you have experienced that for yourself, you cannot imagine what a treat and delight it is to be here now. And I mean that in all sense of the word. I love that I am still here to enjoy my work, my colleagues, my co-workers. I love that I know how to enjoy today w/o worry about tomorrow or yesterday (buddhists call it being in the present). I love that my precious girlfriend, family, and friends have seen me through so much. My resolution for the New Year is to write more, think more, and keep on keeping on. Sounds delightful, doesn't it?