Supporters

I got a comment to one of my posts from someone who calls himself Hopeful Husband. His wife had breast cancer about 18 mos ago and was subsequently diagnosed with secondary leukemia like I was. He apparently ran across my blog while looking for info or maybe just doodling with AML sights on the internet. Her doctors are advocating a bone marrow transplant after her initial chemo to induce remission, which of course my doctors did originally too. I don't know where you both are in the process, but I wanted to take this opportunity to wish you luck with all of the day to day decisions and issues that come up (you've already been through chemo and surgery so you know a thing or two thousand about what I mean).

Good luck to you and to my Stepdad and Mom who start their next phase tomorrow too.

Finding a Way

I wrote a blog post a while ago called "Other People's Cancer" because we had two people close to us who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. I wrote about how the news of other peoples' cancers causes me to relive some of my own past health struggles. Since I wrote that, my stepdad was diagnosed with brain cancer and had surgery to remove his tumor. Next week he begins his own course of radiation and chemo, while Holly's brother-in-law finishes his. I know intellectually that there is no more cancer now than when I was in my twenties; it just seems like it. Just another consequence of aging I guess. I don't mean to focus so much time and energy and words on the topic, but it just keeps popping up. I promise that when it stops appearing and re-appearing, I'll stop writing about it so much. Until then, to those finishing and starting their treatment course, good luck!

Remember, energy begets energy. Do anything to move-get off the couch and go for a walk or if you're too weak for that, just walk around the yard. Be outside and feel the breeze on your face. Anything to enjoy being alive and feel less like a patient.

Holly and I attended my work banquet this weekend in Chapel Hill. How nice to see so many of my fine co-workers all dressed up, enjoying themselves at the dinner. Nice too of Piedmont to stage such a terrific event even in this time of tough finances. I promise to see a few extra patients everyday over the next year to help pay for it-well worth it!

Lighting Up the Night

Last night we attended the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society "Light the Night" fundraiser in Durham. Marty, Deb, and Alex join us there with several friends adding donations to our team to benefit all of the good work that is done by the society for research and patient advocacy. Last year I was out of the hospital on the night they held the event, but my cell counts were too low to out and about with the public. It felt good to be able to join in this year, walking with a lit balloon-mine white since I am a survivor, while Holly and Alex had red ones as supporters. The event was much more somber than the Breast Cancer events I've attended. For one, it was notable how few white survivor balloons there were compared to red supporter balloons. Fortunately there are fewer blood cancers diagnosed each year, but the survival rates are much lower than for breast cancer. It certainly hit home seeing the paucity of white balloons compared to red ones at this event. I could go on and on about how lucky it made me feel. I could extoll my appreciation to everyone who supported me last night & the last year whether you were there or not. And I could assure all of you that I am happy for every additional day I get to be here. One survivor who had the same cancer I had last year spoke to the gathering just before we left for the 2 mile walk around Durham. He said that he didn't feel much like a hero which someone had called him. But then he realized that he was "Here -Oh," and that seemed to fit. Well thankfully I am "Here- Oh" too.

What 50 Looks Like

Today is Holly's 50th birthday. While I was able to avail myself of the 3:30am hotflashes to say happy birthday, I had to wait until 7am to properly sing her the Happy Birthday song which is customary in my family. She was good natured too about the big tube of "Oil of Old Age" which I gave her. Tonight we'll go to the local hangout to celebrate a bit. We haven't done nearly enough of that- what with the cruise trip to Scandinavia, the cabin weekend with friends at the Va Creeper trail, and of course that happy birthday wish at 3:30am. Tee hee. Anyway, I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to be here now and celebrating my girlfriend's 50th. In some ways, it feels like I am celebrating my 50th birthday too. After my struggles and health challenges of the past few years, I feel older than 47. So 50 seems as good as any age to pick, and it's a fun one to commemorate. Thankfully I'm here and healthy and happy and able to be part of so many fun events.

More Happy Birthdays

On this delightfully sunny October 13th, I'd like to wish my sisters Beth and Becky a warm Happy Birthday! They are turning 45 yrs old today. Now all three of us are deeply ensconced in our mid 40's (well I'm 47 which feels a lot closer to 50 than 40, but you get the idea). I hope that they have plans to to do something fun and exciting today to celebrate.

The Asheville gang plus Miriam and Alex from Durham celebrated Holly's 50th in the Virginia mountains this past w-e. We rented a big cabin that used to be the one room school house for the Whitetop Va community, where we stayed to take advantage of the Virginia Creeper bike Trail and hiking in nearby Grayson Highlands State Park. The family who owns the house turned it into a family cabin with gas logs, a big open kitchen, sleeping porch and loft in addition to actual bedrooms downstairs. We were a little cramped all eleven of us stuffed in there together, but this is the gang that goes camping, hiking, and canoeing all the time so intimacy just means having your own bathroom. We had a fabulous time with everyone arriving Friday evening just as the weather turned from blue skies to drizzle. We enjoyed a big potluck dinner with lasagne and eggplant parmesan followed by Susan's famous pound cake for dessert. She made a new one, tweaked a bit with the addition of cream cheese. It was the best I'd ever eaten and her other ones are pretty fantatstic. Ellen celebrates her birthday Sunday Oct 18th, so we got to fete her Friday night, and sang to Holly Saturday night. Seven years ago, Ellen rented the very same cabin for our group on her 40th birthday, so it was really fun to go back to the same spot. They even had a candle still decorating the house that she had left there 7 yrs ago. We had to get all nostalgic about that when we realized it.

By the way, while I'm thinking of it, nostalgia really is under rated. I think it's one of the reasons we go to these places with our group. We have so many terrific memories of old trips in the area, of staying the last time at this same cabin, of all the cold bike rides from Whitetop to Damascus when it's freezing even in July. This time did not disappoint either as we had a cool drizzle most of the day. But hey, we didn't let a little thing like light rain keep us from having a blast. The colors were at their peak, the bikes were all functional, and we even figured out how to shuttle then back to Whitetop without much ado. Everyone was such a good sport about the trip, all aspects. We enjoyed great food, funny stories, a beautiful mountain view, the bike ride, an entertainment show complete with dancers, and plenty of fun. I am thankful everyone was able to go to celebrate Holly's 50th and Ellen's 47th. More fun and funny memories for later (not everyone is brave enough to fashion a rain poncho from a plastic bedsheet, but we have just the gal for that too!)

Here are some photos from the trip.

More Yellow Ahead

Today being October 1st, it reminds me to take time to notice the leaves. We've been very busy at the clinic lately, what with H1N1 infections and now giving flu shots and all the kids getting every stray cough, cold and crud that floats their way. It's easy, I think, for everyone to get caught up in what is happening at work this time of year. The kids are back at school meaning that they, too, are going full throttle with homework, tests, report cards soon and, of course, fall sports (a little soccer anyone?). But this is the most gorgeous time of the year, and I entreat all of you to stop once in a while to catch your breath, take a walk (now that it is no longer hot & humid, you can't use the weather as your excuse), and notice the leaves. We'll have plenty more yellow ahead, but now is the time to pay attention. Sure, it will get better and better-brighter and more vibrant as the days get cooler and shorter-but today is exquisite too.

I found myself driving around Charleston with my Mom earlier in the week explaining some of the gifts that having cancer has given me. I was down in my old hometown to be with my Mom while my stepdad had exploratory brain surgery. Unfortunately, we didn't get good news-he, too, has cancer. We're still waiting on the official biopsy results to know more about the type of chemo and radiation he'll have depending on the tumor type etc. I told my Mom that I like to think about each day and remember where I was last year and what I was doing (usually either in the hospital having chemo, or recuperating from chemo, or getting ready to have more chemo). Then I like to celebrate that I'm not doing any of that now by contemplating exactly what do I want to do TODAY, October 1st, just in case next October 1st is different from today. I know it might sound silly, but the perspective is really helpful. It is really freeing to consider what I want to enjoy today just in case next October 1st isn't so fun. So here's what I did today that I really enjoyed-woke up at 5am, snuggled until I was sure I couldn't get back to sleep, drank coffee while watching the daylight creep into my bedroom, had a terrific row while listening to REM, drank coffee containing chocolate syrup and whipped cream while visiting with Holly once she woke up, wrote postcards to 3 loved ones with cancer, wrote a Thank You card to my friend's mother who prays for me at a pilgrim site in France (I swear I am not making this up), treated a few sick people and told a few that they weren't as sick as they thought, enjoyed a fabulous walk at lunchtime up and down the street behind my workplace, ate a peanutbutter sandwich dribbled with extra peanuts, treated a few more sick people, then came home to start this blog entry. Holly and I will go hit the local sandwich place for dinner when she gets home in a few minutes.

So you pick the thing or things you want to do today that you just might not be lucky enough to do next October 1st.

Photo-my Mom and Brian just before we left for his surgery. I should have taken an "after" photo since he was up showered, shaved, and ready to go just a mere 24 hrs later.