Monday, August 18, 2008

The Summer Time Warp


Yesterday after clinic we had a great visit with Laurie and Julia who had been hiking in the Occoneechee area in the morning. They brought us a whole round of food from Weaver St Market, and we sat outside on the screened porch. It was so fun to have friends visit and get to hang out. Thank you both for taking it upon yourselves to set it up.

I was telling Julia and Laurie that I now realize summer is almost over (Labor day is in 2 weeks), and I barely feel I had a summer. I was diagnosed with this leukemia in late May, and since then it's been all leukemia, all the time. Not really, but it has been mostly leukemia, most of the time. Julia pointed out that I was in my own little time warp. That did capture it pretty well. At the end of last week I'd been feeling down about losing all the time, not being able to work, not really accomplishing anything, getting help from EVERYONE but not being able to help anyone in return (like I do in my job). It has felt a little like a retirement where all you can do is hang at home and read books-no travel, no gardening, no extracurricular work or volunteering to give your life meaning and purpose. It has been very illuminating actually to realize that I'd need more structure and work in my retirement to feel good about myself and to be fulfilled.

I am still at the clinic waiting on a platelet transfusion. My level yesterday was 5,000 so I got a bag. But they are only 12,000 now so they are giving me another bag today. My hemoglobin is down to 9.0, but they hold on the blood transfusion until it gets to 8.0 or lower. My white count is down to 600 so I am back to the whole no fresh fruits, veggies, or flowers thing again as well avoiding anyone sick. Oh yeah, I gained 2 pounds today. I am up to 120.5 #.

Over the weekend, I developed some new blurry vision which may be due to the chemo I had last week. But they want to make sure it is not a bleed into my eye(s). I'll get a head CT later today to check for that. Guess it will be a longer clinic visit today. Beth and I are just making up for all those days last week when we buzzed in and out in no time.

Here's Gracie back when she was a wee kitten (photo).

3 comments:

Shannon said...

Is the blurred vision bilateral? Are you still on the antifungals from the pneumonia? Is the pneumonia resolved completely? All these questions.
Glad your weight is holding steady through all of this! Do you need any more books? I just finished a whole stack and could mail some to you if your shelves are empty!
sh

RLaszlo said...

good luck with the vision thing.

Here's a great book to recommend: Shark's Fin and Sichuan Pepper, by Fuchsia Dunlop. True story of a British food critic who as a young adult moved to China and trained to be a chef. She was the first Westerner admitted to the Sichuan Culinary Institute, and one of the few women. She has a keen ability to bring the time and place alive. It's pretty contemporary - her time there was 10-15 years ago. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Moutain Doc said...

Answers for Shannon-yes the blurry vision is bilateral. Apparently the chemo relaxes the eye muscles. well I'd call it more like not letting them tighten as completely 9must match the others as i've experienced). Yes still on anti-fungals for the peneumonia. I have about 2 more weeks of that to complete. A good excuse to eat high fat foods though I have realized our usual diet isn't very high fat.

Working my way through stacks of books. Seems to be my main job/distraction these days.-tree